Sunday, January 26, 2014

Looking Back, Does it Get Better?

When you look uphill, you only see those who have gotten further than you. In order to get to where they are, you have to keep going. Whether you start to run, jog, or crawl, you have to keep moving to get to where they were. One of my problems is that I stop moving and just stare uphill. I look at how far the people before me have gotten, I look to see the next plateau and I looked to see where the top is located. I could say I stopped to strategize, but that is not always the case.

It is very rare that I look behind me to see how far I've traveled and compliment myself on my progress. For some reason I feel like that is settling and I don't want to be content until I've reached the top or a specific plateau. What or where is the plateau is something I don't know.

So what is my point? I've always wanted to get better at drawing, but I don't feel like I am getting better. In junior high school, I took art for 3 years. I had two different teachers that told me I had potential. In high school, I had my art teacher tell me I had potential. Again in college, it was mandatory to take an art class and my art teacher told me I had potential and asked if I would want to take her advanced class. I had considered majoring in art before starting college, but I knew most of the people who were majoring in art were extremely talented and had been drawing for years. I went to art centered open houses and felt I could not compete with the other students or get into a program, so i pushed the thought out of my mind.

After changing majors and colleges, I settled on Computer Information systems. While in under grad, I dated an Architect. I told him about my love of art and design and how I found his profession inspiring. He told me that I was too technical and would never make it as an artist. There was no sugar coating, he said it as blunt as that. I'm not sure if he said it to make me try to work harder to prove him wrong (he lives his life very much like a drama TV series) or because he really meant it.

Years later I shocked myself when I got into a graduate program in an art university. I had to submit a portfolio of, I believe 12-20 items and my shitty art made it through! But because life happens, I only completed one year of school and never had the time or strength to finish grad school. I do plan on finishing one day, but I believe I will switch my major, it's what I do. My grad school major was ... actually the name changed while I was in the program. It was called something like Computer Arts/New Media and now it is called Web Design and New Media. I don't feel like that degree is necessary anymore and I would like to change to something else like Game Design, Filmmaking or Animation. If I re-enroll under any of those degrees I am going to have to step my skills up because they are not related to my current career and I will need to study just to be on the level of my classmates.

So I was sorting through my photos and I saw some screenshots I took in March 2012 from the game "Draw Something". I use to like playing that game but my friends tend to get tired of games quick (or they just get tired of playing with me). Looking at the screen shots, I'm kind of a tiny bit impressed at how I was able to draw the word. They aren't the greatest drawing, but for drawing on an iPod without a stylist in a short time span, they look decent.

Sometimes I drew the word well but the person guessing ... I'm not sure what they were thinking.

I found a new app called "DrawQuest". It sends a word or phrase each day and you have to draw a picture to represent the word. It is set up more like a feed. You have your own feed and you can follow others and their drawings show up on your home page. I just started getting use to it and I received an email stating they are shutting down.

I was going to use that app as a way of drawing more often or at least getting inspiration in my pocket. Sometimes I get a burst of inspiration to draw, but that doesn't come often enough. So now I need another plan. I wont get any better if I am not active. I need to make a goal or a project for myself. I know my limits and those 365 projects are too time consuming. The 52 weeks projects are easier, but I have a job that has me working more than 40 hours a week, so I tend to be too tired to remember anything beside eating and sleeping. Maybe I'll try a 26 week project; meaning I will have to post at least once every other week. It's a baby step and the thing that matters is that I just keep moving and not standing still and staring up at the mountain.